Crazy Cuffs, Robocops and How to Stop Fuming and Fretting

WHAT:
Hello Girls! A male friend of mine recently wrote a Facebook post stating that “handcuffing your girl in the club is indisputably a sign of weakness.” I couldn’t agree more. He was talking about that crazy “robocop” kind of boyfriend who watches your every move like he’s the Terminator, keeps you closer to his side than his Fruit of the Looms, and won’t even let you dance with your girls or make a trip to the ladies room without hovering like Kevin Costner. Sigh. Cuffing of this sort is never in fashion. If you watched the runways this winter season, however, you know that a chunky arm accessory with a bit of flair is de rigueur.

When it comes to a jewelry cuff, there are no rules. Go for color, texture, or both. Look for unusual details like feathers, beading, braiding or jewels.

WHERE:

HOW:
Again, I don’t believe in playing by any rules when it comes to statement jewelry. After all, cuffs are supposed to stand out–start a conversation. So…don’t worry about matching. Throw one on to play up a little black dress or pair it with jeans and an oversize tee. If you’re going really gaudy, however, I would stick to wearing it at night.

EASY-LIVING TIP:
In his inspiring book, The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale advises us on how to live happily and effectively. One of the easiest ways to increase your quality of living is to reduce your fretting. The pace of modern life must be reduced if we are not going to suffer the toxic effects of over-stimulation and emotional frenzy. How do we go about slowing down? Read on and find out.

1. Give yourself enough time in the morning to start your day calmly and comfortably. When you give yourself just enough time to race to the shower, down a coffee, and make it the train, you start the day at a frenzied pace, and more of the same is likely to follow. Even if you have to rise 15 minutes earlier, give yourself room to enjoy your morning routine. You’ll be more calm and productive if you do.

2. Work slowly and methodically to maintain the steady pace that wins. I’m sure my boss will love that suggestion you’re probably thinking. But you know the story about the tortoise and the hare. The quality of your work will not only be better, but you will also avoid burnout and enjoy your work more.

3. Practice serenity for at least 15 minutes a day. This is a recurring theme of Peale’s. He repeatedly tells us to clear our thoughts and envision a peaceful space in the midst of our chaotic days. Why? Because we operate most efficiently when we are stress-free and relaxed.

4. Don’t worry about where you have to be, enjoy where you are. Are you always anticipating your next move? Constantly checking your watch? Stop. Look around. Savor your train ride–even if you’re late. After all, fretting won’t get you there any faster, but it will destroy your mental health.

5. When you feel yourself getting angry, try lowering your voice to a whisper instead of raising it to a shout. It is difficult to add fuel to the fire of an argument when you’re speaking in a hushed voice. The sooner the debate is over, the less emotional energy you expend. And the less emotional energy you waste, the less tired you’ll be.

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Beautiful Bangles, Bad 80’s MTV and Rational Decision-Making

WHAT:
Hey Chicas! Do you remember when MTV was still in it’s fledgling phase, rotating 5-6 primitive videos that all featured claymation effects and/or singular shooting locations? My sis and I would sit in front of the TV for hours and watch our favorite 80’s crooners try to make the most of a $500 video budget. There was one song and video in particular, “Eternal Flame”, that we adored. I can see it now–the lead singer, kneeling in the sand at night, brunette curls blowing in the breeze, bonfire casting shadows across her face as she crooned “Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling? / Do you feeeel my heart beating? Do you understand?…” God, I loved the 80’s! Go here for the hilarious full video. The name of this group, as you may know, was The Bangles. Which brings us (in a very roundabout way) to today’s trend–you guessed it–beautiful bangles!

Such a simple way to add a little pizazz to any blaze outfit! I tried to choose sets with unique textures, materials and details, but if you go to www.Shopstyle.com, there are literally thousands to choose from.

WHERE:

HOW:
I love to mix and match textures and colors. Plastics with metals, ribbons with glass–whatever floats your boat. As a general rule, however, I keep bangles on one arm, since they tend to visually shorten your limbs by cutting off your arm’s line at the wrist. Also, I keep the count under 5 at a time, unless the bangles are very thin. Other than that, they are extremely versatile and can be worn with dressy or casual ‘fits.

EASY-LIVING TIP:
Today’s easy-living tip is quite simple. Often times, in the heat of the moment, we tend to make irrational, emotional decisions. I hate to say this because the idea is somewhat antiquated, but it is true that we women, in particular, are driven by our emotions more so than men. You can chalk it up to society telling men that crying is weak—it doesn’t matter how we got here–it just matters that men are (generally) more apt to use logic-based thinking when processing conflict.

Now, I am, and have always been a bit of a hot-head. And I’ve always gotten away with attributing my fiery temperement to being “passionate” or the fact that I’m a “daddy’s girl.” But about 6 months ago, my best bud and brilliant confidant pointed out to me that whenever I make an impulsive, emotional decision, I end up singing the regret blues a week later. Yes, sometimes it feels damn good to say “go to hell!” or “never call me again!” It’s an adrenaline rush. It’s liberating. It makes us feel powerful in our ability to make absolute decisions. But once the dust has settled, are absolutes really what we want? Usually not.

So, I have been making a concerted effort to apply a simple rule each time I am angered or hurt by someone or something: instead of reacting impulsively, I stop, and I wait, I hold my tongue. I save that scathing reply text to “drafts”, take my finger off the talk button, resist the urge to decree that something is “not worth it”, and take just one hour to think. I can tell you–90 percent of the time, when those 60 minutes have passed, my initial reaction seems ludicrous. Things are rarely as bad as they seem. And even if they are, that hour gives you time to evaluate what you really want and find a better approach to achieving that end. So next time you want to rip into your roommie for leaving that hairball in the shower or eating your last granola bar, step back, breath, and take an hour. Life is so much more peaceful this way.

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